The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
