we have officially lost it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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