Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize