fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
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