so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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