They should really pass out barf bags in church
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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