i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
