There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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