I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
