Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
