Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
