The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
