He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
