Already got asked if we're dating
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
