He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
