she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
