Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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