$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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