like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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