You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
