There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
