Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm sobbing to NWA
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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