People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
