My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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