seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
