When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
