I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
