My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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