Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
