Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
