omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
