haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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