maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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