what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize