Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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