wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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