hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
