First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize