she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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