Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It's Friday. Sex?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
