i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
