We're facebook friends in real life
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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