you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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