It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize