all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
