I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
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