What a fucking waste of an outfit
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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