Cold hands, warm shart.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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