Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
did you just send me my own nude
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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