Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize