Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it's like iHOP with fire
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
