You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
