Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
