I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
