I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i think im in europe. pls send help
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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