so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
After last night, I could never be a politician.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
