No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
